rediscovery.

muse., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

In my life, I have grown to believe and have often said that there is a vast difference between relatives and family... and that soul is much thicker than blood. Well, as everyone's individual perspectives are shaped by their own unique experiences, this is the lesson I have drawn from my life's journey...

Recently however, I rediscovered my cousin Jennifer... ever a lovely person, just six months younger than me, Jenn is someone I have known pretty much as long as I've been alive and yet, I never had any idea that we had so much in common. I won't elaborate on our shared personality quirks, genetic flaws, and other fun stuff except to say that it was a pleasant surprise. For the fist time in my life, I didn't feel like such the black sheep, just a different shade of gray.

I remember oh so many afternoons playing together at Grandma's with Jennifer and her older sister Renee. One very distinct memory is Renee instructing us how to make a bird's nest in a Styrofoam cup scavenging the farm for straw and twigs and feathers (not surprisingly, Renee grew up to be a college professor). Growing up next door to Grandma, I knew the farm like the back of my hand and was always excited to show my two city cousins the new litter of baby feral kittens I found beneath the seat of the old pick up truck or such... We three spent a lot of time making mud pies, cakes, and cookies which Grandma always pretended to eat with joyous delight and it was not uncommon that we found ourselves in trouble with Granddaddy for digging holes under the carport.

Once, my dad took the three of us to WRAL's television studio and we met Charlie Gaddy who autographed a picture for us. Because he only signed one photo for the three of us, Renee and Jenn had offered to tear off my portion with my name on it to take home with me. (Interestingly, I met Mr. Gaddy again in 2002 at my daughter's graduation from the Charlie Gaddy Center for Children; he looked the same as he did twenty-something years ago... I think it's time he went into hiding before someone stakes him.)

I remember Jennifer's Strawberry Shortcake collection that sat atop her dresser; she always let me play with them when I visited.

Then there was our high school years, me in the country and Jenn in the city, when we were socially awkward and trying to figure out who we were in our own lives... I was the wild-card who wore too much make-up, spoke my mind, and came home drunk and Jenn, well she was always a good person who was always nice to everyone and secretly, I suppose envied her.

It's funny the things we store in our memories - the stuff that actually sticks. And now, a lifetime later, though it all seems like a blur, deep down in the sediment of my mind, there are still things that make me smile in spite of it all.

Jenn., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

Not so long ago, after so many years, we all reconnected on Facebook of all places.

Though anonymity has it's perks, I suppose it's high time I stop hiding from people that were once such a big part of my world.

After much conversation, I managed to talk Jennifer into humoring me for a photo shoot in an effort to further develop my craft with someone I wouldn't have to worry about catching me refer to my cheat sheet for exposure settings. Essentially, Jenn was my guinea pig but I had no doubts I'd get some great shots - she is a beautiful woman, inside and out... I wanted to capture that, the beauty of my cousin, my family.

I think I did.

"A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another."

...Buddha

meet Piper.

meet Piper., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

Don't ask me why, but we decided somehow that we didn't have enough responsibility and unruly charges in our life, so meet "Piper," a 7 week old female Jack Russel pup we just added to our wildly unpredictable family.

That makes six of us (counting the two pooches). Even numbers are good, right?

About three years ago, I had gotten it in my head that we needed another dog, that our one year old son needed a dog, and that is how we ended up with Teach... Teach was a sweet little lab-mix rescue pup full of happy dogness and sad little puppy eyes that would melt your soul. He was smart, too smart for his own good, had a very sweet disposition, and was full of boundless energy. The vet had predicted that he would be a small to medium sized dog. The vet was wrong.

Teach grew and grew and and grew. Poor obnoxious, destructive mutt -- the kids were afraid of him and our geriatric canine, Morgan, had not the patience for his endless shenanigans, so he was lonely and spent a great deal of time entertaining himself by eating our house and playing tug-o-war with the garden hose. He ate toys and potting soil, the railings off of our deck, siding off the house, shoes, phones, pens, knives, books, clothing, and anything else left carelessly within his great reach. And he barked his deep baritone bark, a lot, and the neighbors complained, constantly. Poor pain in the ass. He really wanted to be a good dog and he was deep down, but he just couldn't help himself. *Sigh*

It broke my heart to have to find him a new home (I've never given up on any animal I ever took in - from turtles, birds, cats, mice, ducks, possums or dogs... yes, I even raised possums). No worries though, Teach has a very happy ending: friends of a friend who had a rambunctious, energetic wild thing themselves were looking for a companion... and when Teach met Zoe, he had truly found his soul mate. They raced around our yard like maniacs and wrestled and tumbled and ran some more. When it was time to go, Teach had his mind made up already and wild horses couldn't have stopped him in his unbridled excitement; he didn't even look back when he left us. --And Morgan, well, she was just happy to have her quiet, uneventful days returned to her.

Speaking of Morgan, oh, the look of betrayal on her face when we brought this puppy home said clearly, "I cannot believe you are doing this to me again." Don't worry, I told her, this one won't get so big and you can still be the Alpha dog.

So far so good!

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

...Sir Winston Churchill

things that make me smile.

Desktop Doll Heads, originally uploaded by Zen Cat.

1. Alvin,
2. his unconditional love and support,
3. his kind and wonderful words, and, of course,
   
4. his strange and delightful obsession with doll heads...
   

'Nuff said. XOXO

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

...Leo Buscaglia

communion.

communion.
Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad

Once upon a time as a young military wife stationed abroad, I had the extraordinary experience of discovering family in a wonderfully diverse array of people brought together by the shared commonalities... Distance from our families of origin, the uniqueness of military culture, and the desire to enjoy life with people we love.

Some of the best times of my life, some of my most sacred memories, were born in Germany. And some of the best friends in my life, made.

I recall Thanksgivings gathered 'round my giant table filled with flowers and delicious food cooked with love by Germans, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans, and Croatians. Soldiers, civilians, children, my gay hairdresser and his boyfriend.

I remember Christmases gathering at Elvia's house spending hours making tamales with friends... Pot loads! We talked and laughed, spooned & folded. The taste of that first batch freshly steamed was something straight out of Mexican heaven.

New Years, celebrating with Martin and Evelyn on the old bridge in Kitzingen, drinking champagne and dodging firecrackers, and calling our parents and friends back home, six hours ahead, to wish them good tidings.

German street fests and church basement parties. Hispanic heritage functions on base and touring the Würzburger Hofbrau Brewery with USA DENTAC on the taxpayer's dime.

I remember Isabel's first birthday party... our flat was filled to capacity with people from around the world, every shade of the human spectrum, a symphony of languages... Everyone eating, drinking, and being merry simply because a little girl's birthday was a fine excuse to come together just be happy.

Indeed, some of the best times of my life.

This past week, Elvia's daughter Nicki graduated from high school. I drove up to Virginia. Another friend, once a single soldier in Germany many a year ago, drove out from Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Another couple, also from our Germany days, drove down from New Jersey. And still others, from Washington, DC. A few fellow graduates came over after graduation... The house was filled with people, each from distinctly different lives, backgrounds, cultures, ages, races, and professions -- rich with love and laughter.

I had not seen some of these dear people in nearly 12 years.

Two folding tables were erected in the living room for a celebratory spaghetti dinner and a good time was had by all... making memories.

And for a moment, I felt like I was home again...
But home, after all, is where the heart is.

"Home is a place not only of strong affections, but of entire unreserve; it is life's undress rehearsal, its backroom, its dressing room."

...Harriet Beecher Stowe

swings & doodlebugs.

swinging., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

Despite having been overcome with the plague this past weekend and the "good car" breaking down, we four did manage to slip away Saturday for a cookout with dear friends, Nikita and Wes, in High Point, NC.

The home is nestled on acres and acres of what was once an active dairy farm. The massive lushly green lawn is filled with wonderful big old Oak and Magnolia trees (in full bloom). One such grand tree held from its high bough "the world's greatest tree swing," as Wes puts it. Indeed, such a simple pleasure and it was magnificent. --We all took turns.

We had a great meal with great friends beneath large covered patio overgrown with ivy and various fragrant vines. The kids ran and played and wandered about... Liam discovered "echoes" which provided endless entertainment. Isabel explored the expanse of the great outdoors freely much to her delight. We explored the old dairy barn and played on antique tractors.

And I taught Liam the age old secret of "Doodle Bug calling"...

"Doodlebug, Doodlebug
Come out, come out
Your house is on fire..."

Then as I gently swished the straw around in the Antlion's lair, he suddenly appeared like magic.

"Why?" Liam wanted to know.
"Well, because we tricked him and told him his house was on fire."
"Why?"
"To make him come out so we could see him."
"Oh..." and then back to the tractor he ran...

"Children are curious and are risk takers. They have lots of courage. They venture out into a world that is immense and dangerous. A child initially trusts life and the processes of life."

...John Bradshaw

Gma & me.

Gma & me.
Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad

I miss my Grandma. Immensely. Terribly. I ache with missing her...

These days, if you're lucky, on a good day, you may still catch a glimpse of the truly remarkable and amazing woman that is my Grandma.

She turned 83 this year. Health problems are nothing new for the woman I once believed indestructible, however it is the absence from clarity of mind that is the most difficult to accept, at least for me.

Growing up next door, Grandma was my best friend. With an eighth grade education, she was still the strongest, wisest woman I knew. We gardened together, we planted, weeded, and harvested vegetables, fruits, and flowers. We shucked corn, shelled peas, and snapped beans. We fished together with cane poles and many a day would just cop-a-squat in the hot summer sun, bust open a watermelon and eat it right there in the middle of the dirt farm path with our hands.

I often spent the night at her house and went to bed wearing one of her lacy nylon or flannel gowns, smelling of Avon products. Right up into my teens, she would sing to me when I asked, a song she had learned as a girl, "Topsy Turvy Town" and I would drift off in utter bliss snuggled deep beneath layers of handmade quilts as Grandma lay beside me mumbling in her sleep.

Last week, we had a good visit. I took her fresh strawberries which she loves. She asked me several times where I got them and each time I told her the grocery store. Then she would offer them to me. Grandma, true to her nature, was never satisfied unless she shared what meager things she had and fed people.

She told me before I left that I should come stay with her when she got home. I told her I'd like that very much.

How I wish I could go back again, be that sun-kissed, long-legged blond little girl who went fishing with Grandma and went to bed smelling of Avon.

"And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see: or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read."

...Alice Walker, In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens (p. 240)

once upon a prom.

Nicki & Jake., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

This past weekend, I had the pleasure of photographing a beautiful, young couple on the eve of their senior prom: Nicki & her beau, Jake.

I've known Nicki since she was a sweet, pretty little girl stationed with her family in Kitzingen, Germany. Her family quickly became my family; her mother, a sister I never knew I had... My daughter, Isabel, the baby sister they always wanted.

I remember when Nicki first started kindergarten and how she used to race home in the afternoons and burst through the door bringing with her all the bubbly excitement of her day... Her love and enthusiasm was infectious. I remember how she would greet her little brothers and then run to see tiny Bella -- and I can still remember the melody of her angelic little-girl voice as she sang out sweetly, "Hi Isabel!"

Just outside of the front door to her home, I remember her mother had hung a decorative house that read, "Home is where the army sends us" and so true... though it's been many years and we've spent much of that time far apart, Nicki, her mom, dad, and brothers have remained family and even from a distance I've watched as she has blossomed into a beautiful, genuine young woman and her brothers, considerate and handsome young men.

But I will always remember Nicki as the kind, fresh-faced little girl who was always concerned for others and wanted little more than to see everyone around her happy.

And now she is a senior in high school, attending prom, and graduating next month to begin her own journey through life with the world at her fingertips and magic in her eyes...

And isn't she gorgeous?!!

Age is opportunity no less,
than youth itself, though in another dress.
And as the evening twilight fades away,
The sky is filled by the stars invisible by the day.

...Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Morituri Salutamus

the road to a friend's house.

long & winding road.

Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad

Whoever said that the road to a friend's house is never long, never traveled across three states in a car with a three year old.

...I had imagined this as an opening line for the post-adventure blog entry, alas, 'tis not so. In fact, I had an absolutely wonderful time traveling with my young co-pilot and am still basking in the after-glow of our enchanting memories together.

Everything from staying the night in a hotel to petting a horse at a rest stop was part of our special adventure together... Liam saw the mountains for the first time; I saw them for the first time again. We drove through big cities and learned their names. (We drove a lot!) We also learned about road signs. We sang songs on the radio and made some up. We saw ducks, llamas, wild turkeys, and elk. We had smiley face pancakes at IHOP and ate dinner at "Old McDonald's." We saw sharks at the aquarium and they smiled at us. We took no naps and it was okay because we might miss something. We saw snow. And we played and played, laughed and giggled until we just plain wore ourselves out. We ate ice cream before our meal and stayed up late at night watching cartoons in bed. And wee (pun intended [read=Liam]) discovered the boyhood joy of peeing outside and well, I took pictures because that's the kind of mom I am.

Best of all, we saw dear old friends who love us and made new friends to love too... and I was reminded once more that family is indeed what we make it, what connects our lives in soul, whether or not we're related.

Yes, I have to admit now that it is true after all: the road to a friend's house is never long... especially when traveling with a three year old.

"Only those who look with the eyes of children can lose themselves in the object of their wonder."

...Eberhard Arnold