oops.

cuffs., a photo by Luna Soledad on Flickr.

So recently, we had a client, a sweet older fellow likable in that good ole mutt kind of way, though clearly with some issues, who arrived at our office seeking representation for a misdemeanor possession of marijuana charge. Not uncommon.

However, the events leading up to his arrest is an entirely different matter... Hell, Cheech and Chong would have been proud because you just can’t make this stuff up!

It seems that Mr. Client had the misfortune of being robbed and severely traumatized by a home burglary a year or so ago to the point that Mr. Client felt it necessary to begin carrying an emergency 911 key fob with him on his keyring (similar to the “help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” medical alert buttons).

Well, on that fateful day, Mr. Client was so stoned out of his gourd that he fell down his steps, landing on the 911 fob and placing a call to the police... who arrived promptly and arrested him.

As I said, you just can’t make this stuff up...

“When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two -- and didn't like it -- and didn't inhale and never tried inhaling again.”

...William Jefferson Clinton

crabs.

On our last day of vacation, we decided to have a nice family lunch to fill our bellies before embarking upon the 5 1/2 hour journey back to "civilization." Plus, this provided an excellent opportunity to talk Kevin into a quick trip to Forbidden Caverns before we escaped the 'southern charm' that is the Tennessee mountains. So we stopped at the Texas Steakhouse or Roadhouse or whatever it was.

Earlier in the week, I had sat salivating listening to Eve's tales of fresh Snow Crab legs on her assignment in Alaska, so when I saw the combination platter on the menu featuring filet mignon and Snow Crab legs for about $800.00, I HAD to order it.

"Please?" I asked sweetly, batting my lashes at my beloved.

"You're not going to stop thinking about them until you eat some are you?"

He knows me too well.

A short time later, our waiter appeared, his arms adorned with plates of food and began passing out the orders. Just as he sat down my platter before me, my young son jumped up excitedly and exclaimed (quite loudly) for the amusement of the entire resturaunt:

"Mommie's got crabs!"

To the waiter's credit, he did not even crack a smile until Kevin and I burst into hysterics. I'm just glad no one knew me there.

"Worlds can be found by a child and an adult bending down and looking together under the grass stems or at the skittering crabs in a tidal pool."

...Mary Catherine Bateson

funny things.

Without fail, whenever I see something really funny I am without my camera.

There was a time when I carried around a big honking purse (which was actually a stylish and expensive laptop bag) for the sole purpose of carting around my old Nikon D50 as well as baby wipes, diapers, toys, and other mommie items, but mostly to have my camera close. Of course this is not the best solution for one with degenerative disc disease and chronic back pain. So about a year ago (after shooting RAW with a DSLR for 3 years, I thought it would be handy to have a nifty little point and shoot that would fit conveniently in my change purse... I returned it the same day after a dozen or so crappy shots. Oh well.

And sure, I have one of those so-called "smart" phones with a camera in it but those images suck too. --Besides, after my smart phone navigated itself to my ebay application and purchased for me a watched item while deep inside my pocket, I decided to password protect the damn thing... which kinda hinders the ability to access the camera function quickly.

So last week, I'm driving my son to preschool when I take note of the car in front of me, an older station wagon, being driven by an elderly man with two passengers - a white-haired older lady in the back passenger seat and a gray-haired lady in the front with one of those poufy-old-lady-helmet-hairdos. We're stopped at a stoplight and suddenly the helmet-head lady turns to the driver to reveal the elongated snout of a giant poodle smiling smugly. I immediately burst out laughing driving down the road fumbling to unlock my damn phone to snap a photo of the funniest thing I've seen in a while... The car turned off (I almost followed them!) and I missed the shot. But I'm willing to bet money that the woman in the back seat was the wife!

Fast forward through the hysteria and Easter maddness to this week...

Monday morning I arrive at Liam's preschool to find, not one, not two, but three vultures perched upon the swing set of the school's playground, presumably awaiting for a wounded toddler to hobble out and fall over for easy pickings. That's never a good sign. But oh what a picture!

And me without my camera, again.

"He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. And that was all his patrimony."

...Rafael Sabatini

my funny boy.

everyone loves a clown., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

Today produced more fine "Liamisms." --I've always loved a man who could make me laugh and truthfully none have conquered my funny bone (nor my heart!) so completely as my son. He is truly the funniest little person I know and tickles my soul on a daily basis.

Good thing for him too, because his gift for provoking laughter often prevents me from wringing his little neck at times.

Today Daddy took Liam to preschool. Upon arrival, the sweet smell of cinnamon wafted through the center... the yummy fragrance of french toast sticks. Kevin walks Liam into his room and spying the kids' breakfast says, "Wow, french toast sticks! Mmmm. I might have to stay and have breakfast. Can I stay and have some french toast sticks with you?"

Liam promptly responds, "You'll have to go to your own class Daddy. This is MY class."

Fast-forward to the afternoon:

I fetch the child and we're heading out to the car when Liam stops to chat up the director.

"Are you going home?"

Liam nods.

"What are you having for dinner tonight?"

"I don't know," Liam replies shrugging his little shoulders.

"Do you want some suggestions for dinner?" she asks.

"No," he says, "we don't have any of that at home."

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."

...W. H. Auden