Whataburger.

Whataburger., a photo by Luna Soledad on Flickr.

Considered by many to be a Texas delicacy, I could not resist snapping a phone photo of my Whataburger while in Dallas, similar to this one, and texting it to my favorite displaced Texans...

For years I heard my ex-husband (also a Texan) and friends talk about this great, greasy phenomena and I always thought "waterburger" was a strange name for a burger chain. It wasn't until 2000 when I drove from Raleigh to Brownsville with my soon-to-be-ex-husband (to say it was a hellish haul would be an understatement) to finally meet my soon-to-be-ex-in-laws that I first had a taste of Whataburger. Sure it's yummy, in that clog-your-arteries kind of way, but not sure it was worth all the hype, but then again, I'm not from Texas so I suspect I am somewhat immune to the nostalgia.

In any case, my husband was the first to reply to my taunting text visual, stating simply that I sucked. However, my favorite response came quickly from my adoring sister, Elvia:

"I would cuss u out but I gave up cussing for Lent! Enjoy and I hope you get diarrhea!"

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger."

...Mark Twain

bread pudding.

Wednesday was the Family Sick Day at our house. W00t. Everyone was home coughing and snotty with sore throats so we all spent the day in our jamoos (a.k.a. pajamas) watching television, eating pizza delivery, and fighting with one another. The fun that was had cannot be put into words.

As the day's insanity began to slowly draw to a close and the kids were finally in bed asleep, I decided out of the blue that I wanted some bread pudding - the ultimate comfort food. Not having an award-winning secret family recipe or anything, I referred to the wise and wonderful oracle, otherwise known as the Internet.

I found several mouth-watering recipes, but quickly settled upon this one from southern soul-food goddess, Paula Deen. --I mean if it's a Paula Deen recipe, it likely will call for 3 pounds of sugar and 8 sticks of butter that will clog your arteries and put you into a diabetic coma faster than you can swallow the last orgasmically decadent bite, but you can bet your big ole sweet, jiggly bottom that it's gonna be a heaping helping of heaven!

The Best Bread Pudding by Paula Deen (appropriately named)

Ingredients

• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 5 large beaten eggs
• 2 cups milk
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 3 cups cubed Italian bread, allow to stale overnight in a bowl
• 1 cup packed light brown sugar
• ¼ cup (½ stick) butter, softened
• 1 cup chopped pecans [pronounced "pee-canz" not "pe-cons"]

For the sauce

• 1 cup granulated sugar
• ½ cup (1 stick) butter, melted
• 1 egg, beaten
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• ¼ cup brandy

Directions

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 13 by 9 by 2-inch pan.
• Mix together granulated sugar, eggs, and milk in a bowl; add vanilla. Pour over cubed bread and let sit for 10 minutes.
• In another bowl, mix and crumble together brown sugar, butter, and pecans.
• Pour bread mixture into prepared pan. Sprinkle brown sugar mixture over the top and bake for 35 to 45 minutes, or until set. Remove from oven.
• For the sauce
• Mix together the granulated sugar, butter, egg, and vanilla in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir together until the sugar is melted. Add the brandy, stirring well. Pour over bread pudding. Serve warm or cold.

As I keep saying: it is cosmically impossible for me to follow a recipe to the letter... Thusly, you may note, I made this recipe exactly as it is written above, except I added a couple dashes of cinnamon, extra pecans, and raisins - soaked in the ¼ of brandy (which you will need to top off as the dried fruit will absorb the booze).

O.M.G. Delicious like nobody's biz! This is right up there with the Baked Apple Pancake in Gatlinburg! Outta-This-World Yummy! Make your eyes roll back in your head kinda good. Even better cold.

Maybe I'll make another one this weekend and share it with the kids this time. ;-)

"You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make."

...Earl Wilson

shitty restaurants.

when good fruit goes BAD...
Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad

Speaking of food... a list of my all-time least favorite eating establishments (a.k.a. places I do not recommend):

• Applebee's -- Oh how I loathe Applebee's. Any and all Applebee's. Their food, all of it, quite simply just SUCKS a big fat one. I have never eaten anything at an Applebee's that did not leave me thoroughly disappointed, disgusted, and still hungry because I couldn't force myself to eat the crap I ordered. I would rather eat dirt.
• Domino's Pizza -- You'd have to be really drunk, stoned, or starving to death to enjoy this nasty, greasy foulness posing as pizza. And their "new recipe?" Not long ago, I fell victim to this misleading hype and decided, after nearly two decades, to give them another try... It's still shit. Again, dirt is a good alternative.
• Fox and Hound -- A small notch above Applebee's. Their food is bland and barely mediocre at best; everything. Cardboard has more flavor. A total waste of eating out.
• Kanki -- Well, that was a great place until I got food poisoning from a batch of bad shrimp about 15 years ago. It happens. But a night wrapped around your toilet dry heaving up the lining of your stomach will cure you of ever wanting to eat there again (and we won't even talk about what was going on at the other end...)
  
• Sushi Thai -- I used to eat there quite a bit; heck, I should have had stock in that hole as much coin as I dropped there. And as a should-be stockholder, one would expect more courtesy, professionalism, and a bit more couth from the owner when one gets a an order of Pad Thai that tastes sour (and judging by the wilted, dried out lemon on the plate, has been sitting in the hot window pre-made for the dying-off lunch rush crowd for who knows how long) than to accuse me of trying to score a free meal. Excuse me greedy, crazy lady? --I now happily take my business to Thai House when I need a Pad Thai fix and when I'm craving sushi, there's no place (in Raleigh) better than Waraji's. Both Thai House and Waraji's are far superior to Sushi Thai in their cuisine and service.
• Taco Bell -- What can you say about Taco Bell really? It's cheap, nasty Tex-Mex wanna-be, poor excuse for something edible. I've seen canned dog food that looked more appetizing. --I'm pretty sure I haven't eaten at a Taco Bell since one opened up on base in Würzburg around 1997 and that was purely out of nostalgia... I remember the day it opened at the new PX; there was a 3 hour wait line wrapped around the building. Holy hell, it was nuts -- and there is absolutely nothing at Taco Bell worth waiting for.

Okay, I'm done... but I reserve the right to dislike and bitch about other places too.

Dine at your own risk.

"If you're going to America, bring your own food."

...Fran Lebowitz

arepas.

arepas.
Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad

Never do we leave a relationship without taking away something - usually it's baggage, but occasionally we're left with something worthwhile: a lifelong friendship, fond memories, furniture, maybe even some great jewelry or a child... and sometimes, as in this case, a great recipe!

Once upon a time while in college, I had a roommate (turned psychotic boyfriend) from Venezuela... I'll call him "Francisco" (because that was his name). --It was an absolutely disastrous relationship from the get-go, from the point we crossed that treacherous roommie line until I finally threatened to have him deported and married someone else. Ahh the memories...

But I was young and resilient back in the day and quickly moved on to the next romantic catastrophe without looking back.

Besides some fantastic material for my memoirs, the one thing I took away from that relationship was the addictive taste for arepas and the talent to make them.

Arepas are flat, unleavened gordita-like patties made of white cornmeal which can be grilled, baked, boiled, or fried. (I prefer to bake mine.) They are far easier than buttermilk biscuits to make, are very hearty, and can be stuffed with a variety of foods to be eaten like sandwiches or as an accompaniment to a meal.

To make arepas, you need only find a small yellow bag of Harina PAN (if you're lucky, you might find it in the Hispanic section of your local grocery) and follow the directions on the bag, or follow mine...

Ingredients:

• 2 cups Harina PAN pre-cooked cornmeal
• 1/2 - 1 teaspoon Salt
• 2 1/2 cups luke warm water

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 400ºF. In a large bowl, mix together the cornmeal and salt. Pour in and mix with clean hands to form a mass. Cover with a towel or plastic wrap and set aside to rest for 5 to 10 minutes.
• Using wet hands, form balls of dough out of about 1/4 cup of dough and press to form a cake about 3 inches wide and 3/4 inch thick. (If the dough cracks at the edges, mix in a little more water and then form the cakes.)
• In a skillet over medium-high heat, lightly brown arepas on one side then flip and brown on the other side (most recipes instruct to sauté in hot oil although a nonstick pan works just fine and the arepas are just as tasty sans grease).
• When all the patties have been browned, transfer them to a baking sheet and bake in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes, or until they sound lightly hollow when tapped. Serve immediately.

Arepas make great picnic food and can be stuffed with anything that you might put in a biscuit or sandwich or anything that just sounds good to you. Enjoy!

"There is nothing to which men, while they have food and drink, cannot reconcile themselves."

...George Santayana

Charleston's good eats.

Flounder Ceviche., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

The hubs had a lawyer gig down in South Carolina this past weekend and never being one to miss out on an opportunity to get out of town, I happily went along. (Thanks ever-so-much once again Nik and Wes!) Of course, there were other motivating factors for me as well, namely, photos and food.

And taking pictures of food.

Charleston is a beautiful port city famous for a lot of things -- it's rich history, architecture, sweet grass basket weavers, scenery, golf courses, etc., etc., lots of other stuff... and it's smörgåsbord of good southern eats. (Second perhaps only to New Orleans.)

We pretty much ate our way through the city over the course of four days and barely scratched the surface of this foodgasmic wonderland.

We dined at numerous fantastic places, including Amen Street Fish and Raw Bar where we had Chef Todd's Famous Shrimp Corndogs with horseradish mustard sauce and tiny pickles and Flounder Ceviche with diced mango (pictured here) for appetizers. For the main course: Flash in the Pan Pirlau with shrimp, scallops, muscles, clams, and lowcountry vegetable rice for me and for Kevin, Hot Shrimp and Crab with grilled tomato, brie, and lemon ailoi. (We won't even discuss dessert!) Everything was extraordinary -- from the atmosphere to the service to the food and presentation. ...Oh, and our bartender looked exactly like a young Matt Damon.

And since I love all kinds of ceviche (there are oh so many delicious types and so easy to make), here's one recipe that I stumbled across that sounds similar to the yumminess I had at Amen Street; just add mango!

"They eat the dainty food of famous chefs with the same pleasure with which they devour gross peasant dishes, mostly composed of garlic and tomatoes, or fisherman's octopus and shrimps, fried in heavily scented olive oil on a little deserted beach."

... Luigi Barzini, Jr., The Italians, 1964

baked apple pancake.

breakfast... YUM!
Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad

The Atrium Restaurant in Gatlinburg, Tennessee is a fabulous little "mom and pop" restaurant that serves 25 varieties of pancakes, Belgium waffles, and homemade syrup.

However, I cannot attest to the rest of the menu because this is also the place that serves the sinfully delectable baked apple pancake that I continue to crave and rave about. It was once featured in a 2002 edition of "Taste of Home" magazine along with the recipe, which I copied down when I was there last, awaiting my taste of culinary euphoria:

Ingredients
1 cup pancake mix
2/3 cup milk
2 Tablespoons vegetable oil
1 egg, beaten
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/3 cup packed brown suger
1 medium Golden Delicious apple, peeled and sliced

Directions
In a bowl, combine pancake mix, oil, and egg.
In an 8 inch over-proof skillet, melt butter. Stir in brown sugar and apple slices; saute until sugar is dissolved. Pour batter over mix.

Cook uncovered over medium heat until bubbles form atop pancake.
Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for 12-17 minutes or until golden brown. Invert onto serving plate and serve with syrup.

Serves 1-2.

"Nutrition" Facts
1/2 pancake (calculated without syrup) equals 776 calories, 43 g fat (19 g saturated fat), 179 mg cholesterol, 1,051 mg sodium, 89 g carbohydrate, 4 g fiber, 12 g protein.

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."

...Totie Fields