06 July 2010

sometimes magic bleeds.


Bleeding Neon Santa Monica, originally uploaded by Zen Cat.
Sometimes the magic just bleeds out...
And sometimes that's a good thing because your proximity is such that you're infected and inspired and can't help but to smile from the inside out.

Sometimes though, it happens while you're not looking and the next thing you know, you're on empty... like today. Something I can't put my finger on, as of the earth just spun off its axis like when the washing machine balance is off and you get that extra "thump thump" on the end of each rotation leaving you feeling inexplicably out of sorts...

I prefer the former.

"Real strength never impairs beauty or harmony, but it often bestows it; and in everything imposingly beautiful, strength has much to do with the magic."

...Herman Melville, Moby Dick, chapter 86 The Tail, 1851

03 July 2010

being followed.


bidding adieu.
Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad
One of the things I love best about being Liam's Mommie is the often humorous constant barrage of interestingly unique comments and intriguing observations he springs on us regarding the world around him.

(Of course, the constant chatter and crazy questions is also one of the most exasperating aspects of being a parent, but I digress...)

Yesterday en route to school, Liam asked, "Mommie, why is the sun following us?"

This was one of those moments when I realized that no matter what answer I provided in return, it would indeed fail miserably at capturing the wonder and enchantment which filled his little mind.

Sometimes, a question is just perfect, all by itself.

"You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers."

...John Plomp

01 July 2010

secrets.


flower., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

Once upon a time, our little guy made a wonderful transition from crib to toddler bed and slept like an angel in his own room. We were so proud.

And then along came a loud, scary thunderstorm one night and frightened him right into our bed where he has been reluctant to leave every since. We spent hours and hours on many a night sitting outside of Liam's room waiting for him to fall into sweet slumber only to awaken at three a.m. with a foot in our ribs or a headbutt to the nose as he nestled in between us. Finally in an exhausted compromise to overcome sleep deprivation, we simply gave up and decided to move his bed into our room. So, our nearly four year old son now sleeps at the foot of our bed.

You can imagine the inconvenience of this arrangement without the need for elaboration, but hey, at least we're able to get some badly needed shut-eye. We can only hope that he moves out before college.

While this does somewhat simply our bedtime routine, he no longer falls asleep by himself and so, bedtime goes something like this...

Tonight (my turn): Liam and I are laying in bed; I have just finished reading two short stories about Biscuit the puppy with Liam "reading" the "Woof! Woof!" parts. Afterward, he is quietly reading his book to himself as he likes to do and I am watching television. When he is done, he clunks me in the head handing me the book and informs me that he is finished and turns his back to me, which tells me he is almost out for the count.

The room is quiet, the volume is low, and suddenly, my son rolls over, creeps up close to me whispering sweetly into my ear in his angelic little boy voice as though he is sharing with me something truly sacred and says, "Jelly don't go in the freezer... jelly goes in the 'frigerator Mommie."

I stifle a snort of laughter, "That's right baby, jelly goes in the refrigerator."

And with that, he's out. =)


"As much as I converse with sages and heroes, they have very little of my love and admiration. I long for rural and domestic scene, for the warbling of birds and the prattling of my children."

...John Adams

30 June 2010

just shoot me.


manga assassin., originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

Holy hell. Another insane week of consecutive shitty Mondays.

I don't even know where to begin?!!... so I won't.


"Hell is other people."

...Jean-Paul Sartre

26 June 2010

Frida Khalo with Brush.

I've always been a fan of the Arts be it music, the written word, theater and movies, or other visual mediums: painting, sculpture, and photography.

Painting was never my forte despite three fruitless years of art classes in high school. In three years, I managed to produce two whole pieces of art that I was proud of and I haven't a clue where they are now. Not that we didn't have a talented instructor, but poor Mr. Godwin never really excelled at keeping his unruly students in order. By my junior year, I think he had pretty much given up on our group as he spent his hour long class time locked in his office smoking cigarettes until the bell rang and he was rid of us. Due to my contributions to Mr. Godwin's ulcers, I was barred from taking art my senior year.

There were some talented and productive student's in the class however, namely Mike and Steve, and how they managed to accomplish anything in the midst of the rest of us is beyond me.

I had known Mike since grade school and he had always been amazingly talented and uncharacteristically advanced in drawing as well as academics. He was my sweetheart in first grade.

I remember how he used to draw Superman with such precision and detail that he was often accused of tracing it. Once in third grade, we were carving pumpkins at Halloween. Mike was in my group and since he was undisputedly the best artist in the class, we charged him with the task of sketching the face upon the pumpkin that we would carve. When he finished however, he had drawn the face three dimensional - appearing as it would as if it had already been carved... he could not understand for the life of him why that wouldn't work.

In high school, Mike was always busy painting while the rest of us assed off and reeked havoc and always he produced something utterly amazing. And then, much to my horror, before the paint had yet dried, he would paint over it and start on something new. I think he must have used the same canvas for years. It used to kill my soul to watch this... what I wouldn't have given for an ounce of his talent and I often wonder what he's doing with his life now.

Of course, I've never been one to recognize opportunities as they presented themselves early in my life. Perhaps I was too immature, stubborn, or just plain stupid, whatever the case, life is too short for regrets and by the time you're approaching forty, you just have to work with what ya got. ...And perhaps one day, I'll give painting another shot.

Meanwhile, I have fallen victim to a blooming obsession as I have discovered an abundance of talented artists selling their passions for reasonable fares on none other than eBay...

This is one such painting: "Frida Khalo with Brush," an original acrylic on canvas by Mexican folk artist Claudia Garcia.

I've always been enamored with Frida Khalo. Apparently, I am not alone as there are many Frida inspired paintings, jewelry, and other random artsy things out there as well as reproductions of her work.

Garcia's painting is her interpretation of Frida's likeness and, while not bearing a realistically striking resemblance, it is her clean and simple folk art style that appealed to me. It was the symbolilc sentiment, combined with those amazing eyes, however, that sold me.

And it looks beautiful on my wall.

"I paint self portraits because I am the person I know best."

...Frida Kahlo

23 June 2010

things that make me smile.


Desktop Doll Heads, originally uploaded by Zen Cat.
  1. Alvin,
  2. his unconditional love and support,
  3. his kind and wonderful words, and, of course,
  4. his strange and delightful obsession with doll heads...

'Nuff said. XOXO


"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

...Leo Buscaglia

beware.


Beware...
Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad
"Beware of turning into the enemy you most fear. All it takes is to lash out at someone who has done you some grievous harm, proclaiming that only your pain matters in this world. More than against that person's body, you will then, at that moment, be committing a crime against your own imagination."

...Ariel Dorfman
Novelist, playwrite, & essayist

I've known too many people in my life that fit this description, sadly, some of them I am related to and truth be told, I'm neither exempt from the occasional lashing out though I try very hard to treat people the way I wish to be treated. It's when I encounter others in their reckless disregard that I tend to fall short.

I encounter them every day at the law office -- they call, they drop in and are usually rude, irrational, and completely oblivious to the affect their inconsideration has on the person(s) at whom they are bitching, ranting, raving, and whining (usually me). This is not to say that I, or any other member of our staff, don't try our best to be compassionate and attentive to a client's pain or personal emergency regardless of their often inappropriate attitude.

One has to keep in mind that when a person visits a law office, they generally are not having a good day. And whatever the crisis, it is the most important issue in the world to that person at that moment.

This is not to say that we don't have some wonderful clients that we enjoy working with and strive to resolve their difficult situations and make their lives easier. We do and that's the ultimate reward. I'm not talking about them and I'm not just talking about clients.

What I have the most difficulty with are those who are so blinded by their own personal agendas and self-absorbed life that they take everyone else for granted, complain about everything, lack empathy toward others, and somewhere along their paved journey through this world, their own sense of entitlement has caused the connecting inner strand of humanity to break within them.

And like Harry Potter's dementors, they suck all that is good and happy and positive right out of those around them.

I really need to learn how to cast a patronus.

How I wish it were that easy...

"When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable."

...Thich Nhat Hanh