15 March 2010

find your cool.

Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad
The older I get, the more I realize that life is a great big cycle of irony and mayhem and smaller cycles... and if we're lucky, we find our way through this insane labyrinth, often feeling our way in the dark, and love and are loved along the way.

For instance, one such cycle is knowing everything and knowing nothing... I can remember a time when I thought I had all the answers (just ask my parents) and then suddenly, I discovered that I knew nothing about anything. Then came wisdom. And doubt. Then confusion. --It's a vicious one, this cycle, and it will play on like a broken record in the background of our existence.

Thank goodness for good humor and friends.

For all the heartache and sorrow I have known in my thirty-something years of wandering around in the dark (and there's been a bunch), I must confess that I have been blessed with fortune in my friendships. Sometimes, that makes all the difference.

Recently I reconnected with an old friend from what seems like a lifetime ago... someone I knew from college, before my first marriage, before Germany, and children. Indeed, a lifetime ago.

Sometimes I don't even feel like the same person I once was, before - before everything... as if my life has been a succession of novels I've read in which I was the main character in some ridiculous drama or romantic tragedy. Volumes stored and recalled.

My friend Greg was from a time when my life wrote itself with ease and filled the pages with fun-filled laughter void of responsibility. I was a likable and charismatic character full of joyful energy...

That was over fifteen years ago.

We met for lunch and then set out about town talking and capturing images of whatever struck our fancies. We walked and talked and laughed and to my most pleasant surprise, I found that my dear old friend was one of those rare and wonderful people with whom time does not stand still... We just picked up right where we had left off.

Knowing, accepting, and being ourselves.
And that, is a gift indeed.

Very cool.

"I am already kindly disposed towards you. My friendship it is not in my power to give: this is a gift which no man can make, it is not in our own power: a sound and healthy friendship is the growth of time and circumstance, it will spring up and thrive like a wildflower when these favour, and when they do not, it is in vain to look for it."

William Wordsworth

No comments:

Post a Comment