16 March 2010

without handlebars.

Weee!, originally uploaded by Luna Soledad.

Raising a child with special needs is sometimes like riding a bicycle without handle bars. You know where you’re supposed to go and no idea how to get there. You will fall and you will get back up and go again because you have to. And you will get tired of the journey, of going around in circles, of the monotony of your days… You get tired of hurting, of hoping, or wishing, and the fear of the unknown. But you keep going.

There are times when you find yourself angry and asking, “Why me?” while other bikers pass swiftly by you, carefree and oblivious. Often they smile out of kindness, or pity; others may even stare and ask what is wrong with your bike? Still others might just pretend you aren’t there, afraid to look. You learn to deal with it and keep going.

Some days you’re just tired of being tired. You have to get off and walk the bike. There are even times when you have to kick out the kick stand and park it so you can find time to cry. But you keep going.

And just when you feel like you can’t go any further… something magical will undoubtedly happen – a milestone. Although delayed and awkward and clumsy, it happens and suddenly you know joy and pride that no typical run-of-the-mill biker could ever know. And that makes the journey all worthwhile…

Like a sudden burst of energy, you will find your strength… and do it all over again.

© Crystal J. De la Cruz, 18 June 2009
Raleigh, North Carolina

"Congress acknowledged that society's accumulated myths and fears about disability and disease are as handicapping as are the physical limitations that flow from actual impairment."

...Justice William J. Brennan, Jr.

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