06 April 2010

she has risen.

Originally uploaded by Luna Soledad
She who? The Easter Bunny of course!

Yes, Liam decided this year that the Easter Bunny is a girl. And well, why not? Delivering baskets full of chocolate goodness certainly sounds more like the kind-of job a girl would happily do... assuming it wasn't her time of the month and she was willing to share her chocolate!

For me at least, there are always two deciding factors in whether or not I will share my chocolate: 1) how much I have, and 2) most importantly, what kind it is.

...Hershey's? Cadbury? Sure! Help yourself! ...Lindt? Maybe. Are you feeling lucky? ...Kinder Shokolade? Godiva chocolates? Gourmet truffles from a German Konditorei? Uhm, sorry, do I know you?! Er, were you missing a hand when we met or did I do that?

So, Easter. I always feel guilty doing the Easter Bunny (and Santa Claus) thing because I can't help but feeling that I'm a big fat liar perpetuating commercialized paganism and that one day it's all gonna blow up in my face when the magic is shattered with cold, hard reality. But until that time, the holiday facade is impossible to ignore because everywhere you look, it's in your face, up in your grill... Easter Bunny on TV, Easter Bunny at the mall, Easter Egg hunt at preschool, and the little ones get sucked in like bubbles down the drain tugging mommies and daddies right along with them by their heart-strings. And we all want to see our children happy, right?

Personally, I subscribe more to the "Eddie Izzard" way of holiday thinking and could care less about church or the easter bunny, but who am I to deny my children this deceitfully yummy right of passage?

So yeah, my kids both got baskets overflowing with (Lindt) chocolate eggs and chickens and lambs, Jelly Belly jelly beans, Robin's Eggs, gummy bears, cars, wind-up toys, and a big chocolate bunny... and of course, yellow marshmallow peeps. And something cuddly -- Isabel, a pink talking puppy and Liam, an Easter monkey. Yes, that's right, an Easter monkey.

Less than two minutes after their little feet touched down upon the bottom stair, a feeding frenzy of sugary bliss was underway.

Less than two hours after the feeding frenzy, my coffee has barely kicked in... candy wrappers litter the floors and the children are bouncing off the walls and running through the house, shrieking like maniacs with sticky hands and chocolate ooze dripping from their chins... and I'm left wondering why exactly we do this again?

Oh yes, because we all like to see our children happy! =)

The pagans had big festivals on Easter and Christmas.
Christians had big festivals at Easter and Christmas.
Jesus died on one and was born on the other. Hm-hm-hm-hmm?

Cos... Jesus I do think did exist.
He was a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi area, the Nelson Mandela area - relaxed and groovy.

The Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy? No."
So they murdered him.

Kids eat chocolate eggs because the color of the chocolate
and the color of the wood on the cross...

Well, you tell me.
It's got nothing to do with it, has it?

People are going, "Remember kids, Jesus died for your sins."
"Yeah, I know, it's great."
"No, it's bad."
"It's bad. lt's terrible. Whatever you want. Just keep giving me these eggs."

And the bunny rabbits, where do they come into the Crucifixion? There were no rabbits going, "You putting crosses in our warrens? We live below this hill, all right?"

Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility.
It's the spring festival.

...Eddie Izzard, Dressed to Kill

No comments:

Post a Comment