09 August 2010

shitty restaurants.

Speaking of food... a list of my all-time least favorite eating establishments (a.k.a. places I do not recommend):

  • Applebee's -- Oh how I loathe Applebee's. Any and all Applebee's. Their food, all of it, quite simply just SUCKS a big fat one. I have never eaten anything at an Applebee's that did not leave me thoroughly disappointed, disgusted, and still hungry because I couldn't force myself to eat the crap I ordered. I would rather eat dirt.
  • Domino's Pizza -- You'd have to be really drunk, stoned, or starving to death to enjoy this nasty, greasy foulness posing as pizza. And their "new recipe?" Not long ago, I fell victim to this misleading hype and decided, after nearly two decades, to give them another try... It's still shit. Again, dirt is a good alternative.
  • Fox and Hound -- A small notch above Applebee's. Their food is bland and barely mediocre at best; everything. Cardboard has more flavor. A total waste of eating out.
  • Kanki -- Well, that was a great place until I got food poisoning from a batch of bad shrimp about 15 years ago. It happens. But a night wrapped around your toilet dry heaving up the lining of your stomach will cure you of ever wanting to eat there again (and we won't even talk about what was going on at the other end...)
  • Sushi Thai -- I used to eat there quite a bit; heck, I should have had stock in that hole as much coin as I dropped there. And as a should-be stockholder, one would expect more courtesy, professionalism, and a bit more couth from the owner when one gets a an order of Pad Thai that tastes sour (and judging by the wilted, dried out lemon on the plate, has been sitting in the hot window pre-made for the dying-off lunch rush crowd for who knows how long) than to accuse me of trying to score a free meal. Excuse me greedy, crazy lady? --I now happily take my business to Thai House when I need a Pad Thai fix and when I'm craving sushi, there's no place (in Raleigh) better than Waraji's. Both Thai House and Waraji's are far superior to Sushi Thai in their cuisine and service.
  • Taco Bell -- What can you say about Taco Bell really? It's cheap, nasty Tex-Mex wanna-be, poor excuse for something edible. I've seen canned dog food that looked more appetizing. --I'm pretty sure I haven't eaten at a Taco Bell since one opened up on base in Würzburg around 1997 and that was purely out of nostalgia... I remember the day it opened at the new PX; there was a 3 hour wait line wrapped around the building. Holy hell, it was nuts -- and there is absolutely nothing at Taco Bell worth waiting for.

Okay, I'm done... but I reserve the right to dislike and bitch about other places too.

Dine at your own risk.

"If you're going to America, bring your own food."

...Fran Lebowitz

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